do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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