it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
