i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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