I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
