Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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