I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just had sex on a roof
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
