I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
