I want to walk on stilts...naked
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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