I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
