remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
