Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
