i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
God, you're like boner-b-gone
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can't turn off my feet"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
