Tell her she can't have a vagina
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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