btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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