Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize