Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
