I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
