i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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