Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
