If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
