Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
In America we eat man semen.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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