I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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