hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
