yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
