Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
