wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
