She is in my trunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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