ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
