did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
