dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
