Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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