Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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