your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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