Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
