i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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