why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize