You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
