I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
