break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
