You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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