Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
