we have pet lesbian snakes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
