...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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