So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
