Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
