I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize