So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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