i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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