So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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