Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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