We need to rekindle our bromance
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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