The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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