that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
