am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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