I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
