Don't you send me to vm
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
