i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
