I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
