No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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